In last week’s instalment, Annie meets Jade in a changing room but doesn’t know know how this reunion will play out. Now read on . . .
I’d spent ages at the hair salon in Hereford, feeling hot and flustered as the hairdresser launched into the taming of my hair as if she were on a mission. I have to say, after all her effort my hair looks much the same only cleaner, full of product and, admittedly, a bit glossier. Bea insisted on paying for the entire shopping trip, including a lavish lunch at an Italian restaurant. I had it on good authority, that is Rhiannon had once told me, that out of the three of them, Bea was responsible for my social engagements. While Mum had asked Rhiannon to make sure I ate properly and looked after my health, Bea was charged with seeing to it that I didn’t spend all my time locked away in my studio, only leaving to go to work and go to Morrison’s. As well as the knitting circle I must take part in local activities, keep up with popular culture and find a boyfriend for goodness’ sake.
It hadn’t occurred to Mum that Ross was devoid of eligible bachelors. The average age is about sixty-five from what I can see, which is a godsend for someone like Bea, but for me, not so much. I’m pretty sure it was Bea’s intention for me to have taken a liking to Anton, which is why she’d insisted I call him to work on the house but she must have thought I’d struck gold landing a date with a celebrity. She’d talked about it non-stop during the outing earlier. I’m surprised she didn’t brag about who my date was to the woman in the nail studio, the one in the hair salon or the overly keen girl who’d done my facial and body treatments. Perhaps if we’d let her in on the identity of my celebrity date she would have softened and not gone about the obliteration of my unnecessary hair with such determination, burning wax being her favourite form of torture. Every chance Bea got she stressed how important a date with a man of considerable means and social standing was and how I shouldn’t, for Christ’s sake, make a pig’s ear of it and as often as I could I must at least sound interesting.
‘Are you saying I’m not interesting?’ I had asked over lunch.
‘I don’t mean it like that, darling,’ she’d said as she sipped Bolinger with her spinach gnocchi. ‘But most men don’t hang around waiting for your good points to show themselves. I’m just saying, best foot forward and all that. Be on your A game.’
‘I don’t have game,’ I’d replied as I stared into the garden salad she’d ordered for me. ‘Let alone an A one.’
‘Just smile a lot and wear good underwear. If all else fails, be a vamp in the bedroom.’
I’d stared blankly at her.
‘Goodness me, do I need to spell it out? You do have some tricks up your sleeve don’t you?’ She’d leaned forward, grey eyes wide open. ‘Tell me you do have some experience in these matters.’
‘Yes, thank you Bea. I know where everything goes.’ Knowing where things go is about all the experience I’d had but there was no way I’d subject myself to more stories about Bea’s sex life than I’d already endured.
In Mum’s old silk dressing gown, the one with the large butterfly on the back, I carefully apply my make up. I’m following a video for a no-make up look that seems to require more make-up than I have in my ten year old make up bag, the plastic lining scored with eyebrow pencil and eye shadow brush marks. My mascara, in fact everything apart from the shimmery lipstick Bea bought for me today, should have been replaced, along with the make-up bag because I’d had it all since my eighteenth birthday. Cat had come with me to buy the bag and its contents all of which was of little use to her. Cat had never gone in for the made up look, her natural beauty, olive skin, long lashes and the pout of her full lips was all she ever needed and that still works for her now.
My good underwear still looks good. The moths have been kind from what I can see. Next the dress. I slip it on with care as I’ve already done hair and make up. Reef is due in twenty minutes so there’s plenty of time to deal with casualties if my hair goes awry or I get lipstick on my teeth. None of this happens and I’m just slipping into my shoes when I get a text from Bea saying: Just a last minute check to make sure you have topics of conversation lined up, haven’t damaged your dress or have lipstick on your teeth. Just be yourself x ps and have fun darling xx
Reef gives a loud rap on the door which shakes me back to earth as I’m already worrying that none of this feels like fun to me. With each passing minute, as I got ready, all I could think about was how much that invitation on the fridge had added to my disturbed nights. I’d wanted to go to Becs’ engagement party on receiving it but at the same time I hadn’t wanted to go. I’d been so nervous about meeting the old crowd again, knowing that they’d all moved on in their lives and I wasn’t so sure I had. I’d worried myself silly about running out of things to say to any of them. Mostly I was afraid of going on my own, without even a friend to take with me. Fear and worry has caused a lot of heartache in my life especially the worry I might end up like Mum and retire into myself and never come out of the cocoon of gloom that Mum used to sink into. And though Cat had told me there was no chance I would turn out to be like Mum I couldn’t shake my doubts. Which is why, since my teens I’d forced myself to be involved in life and lively things. Even when Becs and Zarina talked about going to parties, parties I was sure would leave me cold, I’d made myself go with them. I made myself strike up conversations and I convinced myself I’d had a good time. At university I didn’t have a Becs or Zarina and I’d told myself I needed to try harder, be more assertive. But the friends I made at university were very casual and I haven’t stayed in touch with any of them. In the end, after my studies, it was back to just Mum for company. Eventually I’d fallen out of the habit of going anywhere. That’s why I’d stuck that magnet on the fridge door and that’s why I’d clung to the notion that I could get back out there and make new friends. That invitation had brought out the emotions from the past, the best in me and the worst in me. I’d talked myself into thinking that I could go on my own. Maybe I’d meet somebody. Make a friend. What a maize of thoughts that invitation had created.
I smile as I open the door because now I am going to the party with someone, and not just any someone. A celebrity footballer. It doesn’t matter that I know nothing about football and don’t particularly like it, a celebrity footballer likes me. And he’s my date. For Becs’ party.
‘Am I on time?’ Reef leans on the threshold of the door like a good looking gigolo in a romantic film, smelling of aftershave, teeth gleaming and I look for an animated star to sparkle off them. His wide smile fades as he looks me up and down. I touch my hair, the front of my dress, look down at my shoes.
‘Something wrong?’ I ask and bite my bottom lip.
‘You’re joking.’ He steps inside and shakes his head. ‘Everything is all great. I mean you look great. Beautiful actually.’
I sigh with relief and look at us in the hall mirror over Reef’s shoulder. His broad shoulders block most of me but we look so good together. It slips my mind how unalike we are. He’s confident, good looking and poised. I’m jittery, nervous and absolutely average. But my dress has made a difference, my hair and probably my make up and Reef Mayer has noticed.
‘Should we get going straight away or … ?’ he says.
I don’t understand what the ‘or’ is that Reef is referring to until he starts running his fingers up the side of my bare arm and tracing them along my collarbone and down my chest. Oh that, I think to myself and picture him ripping off my good underwear with his teeth.
‘I think we ought to go,’ I say, dancing around him to reach for my padded coat. ‘Or we may never make it.’
‘Well, if you’re sure,’ he says and helps me on with my coat. Why didn’t I think to buy a dressy winter coat?
We pull up outside Glewstone Court Country House. Lights shine onto the white walls of the middle section of the two storey house, onto the stone fountain near the entrance and spills in a semi-circle onto the pebbled drive. The right and left wing of the house have bricked walls with large windows, the ground floor of one of the wings is illuminated by a warm, yellow light, the other side in darkness. The tall hedges are hard to make out until the headlight of Reef’s car touches them. A man whose face looks ghostly white in the beam of the headlights points us in the direction of the car park. He does a double take as he notices who the driver is. My heart pounds loudly in my chest. I’d thought about how impressed everyone would be if I walked into the party with Reef but I’d forgotten that it would also mean a lot of attention coming my way and I’m suddenly aware that I won’t be able to handle it. Reef comes to my side of the car and opens the door. My first instinct is to throw off my old coat and walk in as the new improved me but the biting wind that whistles up my bare legs as I step out of the car reminds me that it’s the dead of winter and I’d probably catch my death if I did.
Reef’s warm hand envelopes mine as we walk back to the house. My heels sink into the shingles in the path and I step daintily over them so as not to land on my face and to avoid getting shingles into the open sides of my shoes. Reef seems to glide on an invisible carpet and pulls me along to the entrance where there are stone pillars and double doors opened wide onto a small, brightly lit hallway. Inside, a grand shiny oak staircase spirals to the upper floor. I notice that the two suited staff members at the door, who had asked to see invitations from the three girls ahead of us, stand aside for Reef as he steps up to the door. I’m slightly behind him, scraping a shingle off the sole of my shoe onto the step.
‘It’s you, isn’t it?’ one of the doormen asks.
Reef looks back at me and I stand to attention at his side.
‘I didn’t bring the invitation,’ I say meekly.
‘You don’t need one,’ both of the doormen scrabble to say. Neither has looked at me and are ushering Reef into the hallway where music pulsates through from a back room. The people in the hallway are pointing their phones at Reef. He turns to me.
‘Oh no. I wasn’t expecting this,’ he says.
I’m about to ask what he did expect when Becs and Zarina come flying through from the back room a blast of music heralding their arrival.
They both shriek my name as, first Zarina and then Becs, throw their arms around me and pull me in for air kisses and brief hugs in which there is little to no body contact below the shoulders, just lots of perfume. As Becs and Zarina stand hungrily in front of Reef I try to make the introductions.
A small group of people have gathered in front of Reef. He smiles at me but his eyes are asking how long we need to stay. I’m thinking that perhaps it would have been better if we had stayed at mine, Reef could have been exploring my good underwear by now. Instead I’m being jostled farther and farther away from him while Becs is exclaiming what an honour it is to have Reef Mayer at her engagement party as if she’d orchestrated the whole thing.
‘Um, Reef,’ I say, but no one hears me. A bit more loudly I say: ‘Reef could I introduce you to Zarina and Becs whose party it is?’ This is a bit of a redundant question as Becs has already announced to Reef who she is. She spots me on the periphery and swishes a pointing finger at me.
‘And you, you dark horse.’ She brushes past everyone to grab my shoulders. ‘I don’t hear from you in ages, you don’t RSVP and here you are, showing up with Reef Mayer. Don’t tell me he’s your brother.’ She turns to Reef as does everyone else.
‘No he’s my …’
‘Annie’s my date,’ says Reef and suddenly all eyes and cameras are on me as if I’m supposed to make a speech.
I frown, I shrug my shoulders and I open my mouth to say something, I’m not quite sure what, when Becs grabs hold of the shoulders of my padded coat.
‘Well,’ she says in a very loud voice. ‘Don’t just stand there. Come in and have some champagne. You and I have a lot to talk about.’ She looks down at my coat and quickly removes her hands. She spins around and calls over the bobbing heads. ‘Could someone take this?’ She looks at my coat again. ‘This, please. Would you? Thanks.’
A doorman pushes through the gathering crowd. Each time the music booms more loudly from the main room, a few more eager people come out and congregate in what is a pretty hallway but not big enough for the whole party to spill into. Some people are standing on the stairs and holding up their phones from there. Reef helps me off with my coat and hands it to the doorman. He offers me his elbow as he leads me to the loud room. Becs rushes to my other side and hooks an arm through the crook of mine. It’s very awkward for the three of us to get through the door in a line but somehow we manage it. Becs grabs a glass of champagne being carried on a tray by a gliding waitress. She hands it, right past my face, to Reef.
‘There you go, Reef Mayer,’ she says
He holds up a hand and says ‘Driving’. She proceeds to drink the champagne herself and giggles helplessly.
‘We’ve got a buffet later. Drinks are on us and we brought the DJ from our favourite club in London. Isn’t he great?’ she asks while spraying my face with champagne spittle and jiggling her hips. Standing in front of a large sash window, facing his hi-tech equipment and the rest of the room, the DJ bobs his head and fiddles with a mouse to line up the next song. Very few people are dancing, mostly they are hovering and staring at Reef.
‘Don’t just stand there go on and enjoy yourselves,’ Becs sprays. ‘We’ll catch up later.’ Then into my ear she whispers. ‘And you can tell me how you got hold of Reef, The Body, Mayer, you naughty girl.’
For the next few minutes, I’m standing next to Reef, sipping the champagne he has swiped from another passing tray and handed to me. But we’re unable to conduct a conversation because he is constantly being accosted from the other side from people who just love him in the adverts, love his ex-wife, love his son, thankful for the penalty against Chelsea in the cup final and want to congratulate him on becoming manager of Birmingham City. He hadn’t told me he’d accepted the job, I only knew he’d gone to discuss it when he’d left me to look after Noé. I expect he thought I’d caught up with it on the news or his Twitter feed. I don’t follow either so I wish he could have told me. It’s obviously big news.
‘Birmingham?’ I ask when I can finally get close enough to him to ask.
‘Oh, yes. That. Didn’t I mention it?’ He screws his face. ‘I thought with a bit of stability in my life I could see more of Noé.’
‘That’s nice,’ I say but really I’m hoping it means I can see more of Noé. He’s safely over at Rhiannon’s house, probably having a bedtime story read to him alongside Rhiannon’s grandchildren as we speak.
‘Fancy a dance?’ Reef asks but just as I’m about to answer, Becs strong arms Reef and yanks his ear towards her mouth.
‘Um, Reef Mayer, could you come over so can I introduce you to my dad? He’s a massive fan.’
‘Oh, I …’ he says and then I see him disappear in a puff of party smoke and he’s gone before I can tell him that I’m not much of a dancer but that I’d love to.
‘Annie?’ I turn to see Anton standing just inches away. It’s weird not seeing him in jeans or dungarees. He’s in black trousers that are narrow at the ankles and his highly polished shoes end in a slight point. Under his black, formal jacket is a crisp, grey shirt, the top button undone. He’s clean shaven which compliments the new skin fade in his hair. He moves closer and bends to smile at me. I try to form a sentence by opening and closing my mouth like a damned goldfish. Why can’t I just say hello?
‘You’re here.’ It’s all I can seem to muster under the circumstances. I’m dying to ask how he knows Becs, why he knows Becs and is it too late to change the colour of the wall units.
‘So are you,’ he simply says and looks out to the ballroom floor. There is a handful of people dancing to Happy by Pharrel. The DJ is looking at his laptop screen and chewing gum. There is a group by the bar and people in black aprons are laying food onto a long table against the wall. Around the perimeter of the room are eight large dining tables covered in white table cloths, glitter, glasses, bottles and bowls of snacks. Reef is at one of those tables while a man in a suit whose sleeves are too long, presumably Becs’ dad, holds court. Reef seems unable to get a word in but he smiles graciously and nods from time to time. People are clicking his photo and asking for selfies with Reef, people are taking pictures of people taking selfies with Reef. It’s all pretty chaotic but Becs seems to be having fun. I’m not sure I recognise her fiancé but Zarina has her arms draped around her husband who can’t seem to get enough of Reef Mayer either.
‘You didn’t tell me you were coming to this,’ Anton says close to my ear. ‘And you didn’t let on you were going out with Reef Mayer.’ He smiles and I’m hoping to God he doesn’t go and ask for a selfie, too.
‘And who are you here with?’ I ask.
Anton looks around just as the doors open and a beautiful black woman in a dark blue dress steps in.
‘Her,’ he says, being nonchalant. How he could be, I don’t know. She’s probably the most attractive woman here. Effortlessly making her way over to us in the same flying carpet motion Reef had earlier, only in high stiletto heels, is Jade. She smiles and walks up to us and I’m filled with such envy to know that she is here with Anton – even though I’m with the most sought after man in the whole party.
‘Annie!’ Jade hugs her long arms around me and pulls me in close, kissing both my cheeks. ‘You look amazing. Doesn’t she Anton?’
I half turn to Anton and can barely meet his eye now that I know he’s dating Jade. I’m quite annoyed at him for trying to kiss me when he has a girlfriend. Perhaps he thought it was okay because it was obviously a long distance relationship until now, now that she is moving back to Herefordshire for good.
‘She does look nice,’ Anton says.
‘Nice?’ Jade flicks Anton’s arm. ‘Talk about understatement. That dress is so beautiful on you and your hair looks … well, you just look, wow.’
I don’t feel wow. My head is spinning and my tummy is knotted. I really like Jade and hoped we could become friends but how is that going to happen when I have a crush on her boyfriend and was a breath away from kissing him not so long ago? Maybe I could brush that aside, the way Anton has and I mustn’t forget that I do have a date myself. Though you wouldn’t think it. Reef hasn’t looked for me once. The image of him removing my good underwear with his teeth looks increasingly unlikely, instead I have a vision of putting them into the laundry basket myself and someone playing Taps on bugle like they do at the end of a military funeral.
‘Bloody hell,’ Jade exclaims. ‘That’s Reef Mayer.’ Not her too. But there is Reef, burrowing his way back to my side. His face looks serious, anxious and he takes my elbow and squeezes it.
‘I’m really sorry, Annie, it’s Noé. Something’s up. Rhiannon called.’
I wave weakly at Jade and Anton as I allow myself to be hurried back into the hallway and out of the main doors. The night air covers my shoulders and arms, pebbles from the pathway stick into the soles of my feet as I chase after Reef. He aims his keys at the car and the locks click and the lights blink on and off.
‘What happened?’ I ask.
Reef has already started the engine and reverses out just as I close the door. I click on my seatbelt and stare at the side of his face as he looks over his shoulder and manoeuvres out of the parking spot and races towards the driveway. He makes the parking attendant jump as he revs up the engine. My head bangs the back of the headrest and I turn my eyes to the speedometer. We’re already doing seventy and we haven’t hit the road yet. My heart beats uncontrollably and I’m fearing the worst. Did Noé take a bad fall? Is he ill? Did he run away? I’m so scared and so upset because I arranged the babysitter so if something terrible has happened, I’m to blame.
‘Can you direct me from here, Annie?’ Reef’s urgency shakes me back to the here and now. ‘I had Rhiannon in Google Maps but there’s no time to check that now.’
‘Just follow signs to Ross and I’ll direct you when we’re close.’
I dread to look at the speedometer now but I shoot directions at Reef as we get closer to town and direct him to Rhiannon’s house in nearby Weston Under Penyard.
I leap out of the car when we arrive. Rhiannon is standing in the doorway wringing her chubby hands, but she’s smiling. Reef is already passing her before I can close the car door and bolting up the stairs.
‘It’s fine. He’s perfectly fine, my poppet,’ Rhiannon says when she sees my face.
‘What happened?’
‘He just missed his dad. He fell asleep fine and then woke up. Strange house, I suppose.’ Rhiannon leads me to the living room and sits me down but I look desperately towards the open door. ‘He was just a bit worried Reef might forget the address. Started crying and couldn’t stop the poor mite.’
‘That’s because they always leave him,’ I say lightly on a sigh. I rub my face.
‘What’s that my pet?’
‘His parents. He’s either with one or the other. When he’s with one he misses the other but sometimes neither are around and he worries they won’t come back. They’re gone for days at a time sometimes. He gets so sad.’
‘I’m not surprised.’ Rhiannon is whispering because we can hear them coming back down the stairs. When Noé sees me he leaps straight towards me and sends me backwards into the chair.
‘Easy big man,’ Reef says.
‘It’s fine,’ I say. ‘Noé, you had us worried.’ I stroke the cascade of his soft curls, wrap one onto my finger and inhale the smell of biscuits and soap that surround Noé. I love this little boy.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says standing in front of me, knees leaning against mine. ‘You look pretty. Are you cold?’
I look down at the goosebumps on my arms. I’ve left my padded coat at the party and during the drive over I’d forgotten it was freezing outside. I was that worried about what had happened to Noé. My teeth are chattering and Noé wipes tears away from my cheeks with his fingers. I didn’t realise I was crying either.
‘Don’t be sad, Annie. I’m here now,’ Noé says and leans in for another hug.
‘I’m glad you’re here,’ I say. ‘Really glad.’ I look up at Reef who mouths the words Sorry, Annie, but I’m just so full of relief that a thousand Becs Sprigg parties couldn’t compare to how wonderful it feels to have such a massive hug from Noé.
‘You ready to go home?’ Reef asks.
‘I’ll fetch his bits and bobs,’ Rhiannon says over her shoulder. As she climbs the stairs I can hear her telling the grandchildren it’s time to sleep and no we can’t have more bedtime stories, well okay, maybe one.
Dressed in his cuddly jacket, Noé holds my hand in the back of the car. He pleads all the way for either their being able to sleep in my bed or that Annie comes home with them. Both Reef and I suggest that everyone will be better off in their own beds tonight. I give Noé a last kiss on his forehead and Reef leans back to hold my hand before I slip out of the car.
‘I’ll call you,’ he says but it sounds like a bit of an afterthought.
My teeth chatter and I can’t open my bag or grip the keys properly to let myself into the cold house. I hadn’t envisaged spending the last couple of hours in a flimsy dress on probably the most wintry night of the season.
I turn on the shower and deposit my good underwear, balcony bra and silky, skimpy briefs, into the laundry basket. I have no idea when I shall require their services again but the hot water on my skin is so comforting. I stand under the shower for ages, determined I will sleep tonight but somehow I don’t believe I will.
More next Monday!